rebuked...

Wow! Ke-nah rebuked today by placement supervisor in a loving manner today, considering I wasn't put on a guilt trip for forgetting our first appointment and had to re-schedule to today's time.

Scripture below was brought up as a reminder (which I need to read again to double-check what it meant and whether it really meant what she had said). In addition, she mentioned if I'd paid for the course and during the course since I do practice talks, I should try it out in real life, otherwise what is the use of doing the course?

I was apprehensive and wanted to think about it for awhile, since it came as a surprise and I wasn't expecting any opportunity here until I had finished the course, and I wanted some feedback at least before I did it for real. It's really daunting when I did it last year in GB and once at children's church with some friends giving me feedback on what I need to improve on.

Supervisor was gracious enough to let me give talks in Term 2, after i've received feedback at my course. Will have a chance at 8am communion service (which has few people and usually, a non-christian/traditional crowd), and also once at int'l students' social night on a Friday. Both should be 5 minute talks, but basically evangelistic.

Amazed at how God provided this chance and a supervisor who's pushing me abit more which she said plainly. Quite intrigued how christian brothers & sisters here trust in Him, willing to trust PT in their acceptance of me and hence helping me progress in my decision making in ministry. Though I would not have a bigger crowd to speak to, if it was me as church staff, I would choose to control it abit more and assess the person before offering the opportunities at church. Thinking of why I would choose to do so compared to how my brothers & sisters here make choices. Have we been too controlling and not trust God? Even if wrong decisions are made, Christ is preached, that's what matters, right? Did we not put others first above ourselves when we manage an apprentice? Not being able to draft out the progression for them and their needs, then see how church work and opportunities can be made available for them to work at and then review thereafter? Instead we're concern about the daily operations and lay on the apprentices the work as an after thought or it just needs to be done? I wonder....good to think through and especially for me to check myself and my motives!

Matthew 25: 14 "For it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted to them his property. 15To one he gave five talents, to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability. Then he went away. 16He who had received the five talents went at once and traded with them, and he made five talents more. 17So also he who had the two talents made two talents more. 18But he who had received the one talent went and dug in the ground and hid his master’s money. 19Now after a long time the master of those servants came and settled accounts with them. 20And he who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying, 'Master, you delivered to me five talents; here I have made five talents more.' 21His master said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.' 22And he also who had the two talents came forward, saying, 'Master, you delivered to me two talents; here I have made two talents more.' 23His master said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.' 24He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, 'Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, 25so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here you have what is yours.' 26But his master answered him, 'You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed? 27Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I should have received what was my own with interest. 28So take the talent from him and give it to him who has the ten talents. 29 For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away. 30And cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.'

thursdays and fridays...

Met another group of Cornhillers...all in their 2nd year at Proclamation Trust.

Thursday

morning:
A student did an exposition on John 13:1-5. Aim of expositions is to open up the meaning of the passage, but not to preach it to the class. It's a public exposition of a bible text, not a short sermon, camp or youth group talk. You're given 7 mins, disciplined in focussing on central theme of text in context, no time for illustrations and 7mins doesn't include prayer before and after, and it doesn't include reading of the passage.

BTW, they start on time! which i'm trying to get used to. I think it's great since I always think people should be on time for any meeting/appointments. But strangely, it feels pressurising when the whole group keeps time, though I see the difference between the 1st years and 2nd years. 1st years are more punctual, while 2nd years seem to be a more relaxed group since they had been through 1 year of Cornhill already.

After exposition, we usually break off to pray for an ex-Cornhill student and amongst our 2 or 3s. Quite amazing and such a blessing to be amongst people who simply and have only our Lord to rely on for their lives!

afternoon:
Once again, a PT staff came to explain the new library system which has been computerised. Think MW will be surprised at how many changes has taken place, like computerised library system, bigger pantry, more seminar rooms, new carpet, power points on the floor just below desks, 2 round glass tables to have our pack lunch, etc. At least all the 2nd years were raving about the changes. More changes coming, ie, wireless LAN to send out notes wirelessly to students' laptops, etc.

I went to help out with barcoding library books on last Tue and got to know more people when I helped out on Thu.

SA started to explain how we could make better use of the preaching classes, in particular how to give feedback amongst ourselves. There was a skit by 2 students to simulate the scenarios which we needed to look out for, ie, give feedback on the bible text itself and not about the person, being sensitive to the preacher student, giving constructive feedback with specific improvement which could be taken into consideration, if nothing to say then don't say.

Friday

morning:

After student exposition, DJ came to talk about principles of exposition of the epistles. I've heard most of it when he came to S'pore last year to teach us tools of digging deeper into the bible. Found it interesting this time that he says we do have interpretation problems to be aware of and also what kind of lenses we use to read the bible, our background/culture/personal life/tradition/people who nurtured us/prior understanding of bible, can all affect our interpretation.

Ultimately...
every translation = is an interpretation
scripture = human (individual styles, historic particularity) & divine (God's truth) = Lord Jesus (incarnation of scripture)
christians = founded in historic evidence

Another note I took down:
If God is God, he reveals himself to us (through His Word = bible).
If not, then he'll be smaller than your mind and what god is that?

events + explanation = revelation

DJ talked about exegesis (drawing out the meaning of text) and hermeneutics (significance of text)

Basically, it's the keep reading and reading and reading the text. Before teaching it, to read it 3 months beforehand to have had the time to ponder about it.

Interesting how DJ mentioned to be aware of boredom, where everything is about Jesus. It is, but not having it in a straight jacket, but to let it loose and preach the text. It was REALLY exciting when DJ gave an example of how it was done with 1 Peter and 1 Corinthians 1:1-3.

Also gave an estimation of preparation time for 25-30min talk, about 10 hours will be enough, lest if you prepare more, you'll want to give too much out.

DJ said you'll want to have a sermon that grabs people, otherwise won't nurture the congregation. One with application and relevance, because they'll have questions like "So what? How does it impact?". We're to make connections for people.

It was just exciting to hear him as he made the bible come alive! Reminds me of a korean-american sunday school teacher who made an impact in my life by bringing the bible to life during teenage years. What he taught, how he lived and parented his children was a big eye-opener for me.

afternoon:
It was also exciting as all the 2nd year Cornhill women gathered for free lunch provided by PT and met with 3 women teachers who had various minitries (youth & children, 20-30s women and older women).

CS shared from Ephesians 4:11-16 on what ministry is about. Out of 3 teachers, only 1 teacher has gone through Cornhill Training course.

Thereafter, the history of how the Women's Ministry stream came about was mentioned. It's so exciting, because they are going to discuss and help women think through blibically our role as women in the ministry. It's a 10 week course covering Biblical manhood & womanhood, ministry issues which women might face, pastoral issues, teaching workshops. Imagine we get a chance to think about the possible scenarios we'll be in and get to think it through blibically before it happens to us! It's just an answer to my prayer! All the women will want to complement the men in their ministry and be good helpers, yet recognising our role as women which God has given.

I'm surely looking forward to my Friday afternoons!!

school started!!

Monday

First time taking tube in the morning peak hour human traffic and it was scary and stress. I was squashed for the majority of time and reminded myself that I'd much prefer taking bus, as I could breathe better and enjoy the scenery. If not for learning God's word, I wouldn't want to come all the way here. I could love parts of the country or seek to satisfy my own desires by being here, but it'll all end up as nothing.

morning (9.10am - 12.15pm):
Director CA, started by opening up bible from Nehemiah 8:1-12. Jokingly, CA said even in the time of Nehemiah, there was a Cornhill course pattern...

Some points I took down:
- a gathered people learning under God's word
- attentive to God's word (verse 3)
- people had a relationship with God
- it was taught clearly (verse 8)
- there was conviction (verse 9)

Looked at Ezra 7:1-11 (especially verse 10) where we were challenged to look at how Ezra
"set his heart"
- his study of God's word shaped his lifestyle
- he does it / personal obedience
- teaches it
(have to figure this out, as my heart is prone to waver and mind gets distracted with other tasks)

He ended with Isaiah 50:4
"The Lord GOD has given me
the tongue of those who are taught,
that I may know how to sustain with a word
him who is weary.
Morning by morning he awakens;
he awakens my ear
to hear as those who are taught."

There were lots of introductions
- the course and homework
- announcements
- the Proclamation Trust (PT) staff
- building facilities
- cleaning duty roster, etc

afternoon (1.30pm):
Came back to hear an exposition by SA, PT staff, on Philippians. Strict 7 mins to open up the meaning of the bible (ie, what it says and means in context, what's the big idea and why, also some pointer to the implication of the passage for us today), but not preach it to the group of 50 students (12 are full-timers).

(Something to think about: teaching and preaching a passage is different? But you need to learn to teach it before you preach it - conversations I'd had with friends and even my landlord, CH)

After that, I signed up for Greek, and was apprehensive about it, as we were given a Greek starter sheet to do homework by learning the Greek alphabets. How to read it? The symbols look like my maths university subjects, but I'll still give it a try.

Some had tutorials from 2pm, which just means meeting with a PT staff, to have a mentor to be able to discuss stuff with. I think these 1-2-1 meetings help alot in not getting lost in the midst of studying God's word. A personal touch and consideration by the school.

End of day, we were given homework to read through 2 Timothy.

My tutorial was on Tue, so I spent afternoon getting to know other people and got some banking stuff figured out.

Getting to know people, it helped when CA explained how different all our backgrounds were. London is really MORE cosmopolitan than other cities I've been.

Tuesday

Tube ride to school was wonderful! I wasn't squashed and could find a seat to sit. But, I still have to find out how to get to school by bus, just in case there's another tube strike!

morning (9.10am - 12pm):
Urgent prayer request for an ex-student who had cancer of liver. Broke off in small groups to pray for her. Quite amazing stuff when a paper detailing her condition/situation and what she asked us to pray for, helped us to know how to pray for her. And the paper contained a helpful reminder about "how good to know that the prayers of even us made righteous in Christ are 'powerful and effective'...what a great God."

Another morning exposition on Philippians by SA. Thereafter, we broke off into groups to discuss what we've read from 2 Timothy and share what we had picked up about what was going on with the writer, the recipient, the recipient's church. Also what clues there were about the circumstances that prompted the letter.

CA looked at 2 Timothy, showing us how to listen to the text and also how it gets from the text to teaching it and proclaiming the message.

lunch:
Interestingly, the one of the girls in 1st year decided to group all the girls together to go to a nearby park to have lunch (see photo). Amazing! Thank Him for his providence of such girls. Certainly helps to break the ice, since we're so new to each other. There were girls from Britain, Pakistan, US (Chicago), Northern Ireland and me, S'pore.

afternoon (1.30pm):
Had 2pm 15min meeting with CA's wife for her to find out how I am and whether I've settled down and what I hoped to get out of the course.

3.30pm, went with 5 other girls who met CA's wife, to go to CA's home nearby for tea. There was sharing of lives and how we were saved by Christ, and I got so caught up that I forgot I'd 5.30pm doctor's appointment. Sigh. I ran to tube and was 5 mins late, which thankfully they didn't strike me off their list, as notices around some clinics said it will do.

Took a leisurely walk back and pondered about the day.

what to look for in a church...

"42They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. 43Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. 44All the believers were together and had everything in common. 45Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. 46Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, 47praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved."
(Acts chapter 2 verses 42 to 47)

Went to All Soul's newcomers evening since I'm so new and my main aim was to get to know the staff at All Soul's.

Evening started with writing name tags, getting a drink (orange, apple or tea/coffee) poured by the rector/pastor, Hugh Palmer (wow! amazing humble service! *grin*) and finding a table of 8 chairs to sit at. Table had muffins, sponge cakes, cookies, brownies *drool*. Had to have the details because it's so simple to organise.

Hugh gave a small talk "What to look for in a church" with slide show & points of the talk on it. He didn't start with an introduction of All Soul's, but went to scripture, Acts 2:42, 47. He said we could be looking around for a church to attend and checking out which one is suitable, but he challenged us on what we should look out for in any church, even if All Soul's turn out to be not suitable. Wow! Got me excited. Hehe

Here's the outline which came from the text and base on my memory:
- apostles' teaching, ie, bible teaching
- fellowship, ie, a loving community
- breaking of bread and to prayer, ie, to proclaim Christ's death/resurrection and his return, to have dependence on God
- added to their number daily, ie, evangelism, outreach/sharing of the gospel

He did explain that no church is perfect but that it strives to have those as its aims and they are making an effort.

For those who only want to attend services, they can't expect more from church since it's difficult with being a huge congregation to keep track of who is around, who has been sick or away. But they are welcomed in church. And coming to services only, you're bound to sit with different people each week. No real deepening of relationship in my opinion. Thought it was good reminder of having a realistic expectation, but challenged to join a bible study group, since that's a smaller version of church.

For those who are "sleepers", ie, have been serving for a long time and need a break, they are welcomed too. But it's best not to "sleep" too long lest it becomes permanent and you're out of fellowship completely.

I'm just glad I could still remember passages from talks after walking away. Must pray for pastors to instill God's word in people's hearts and leave it to do its work in each and every person because we know God's living and active word won't return empty and will fulfill God's purposes.

Thereafter, we had a tour of the church and the names of the different places in it which helps alot when I read their bulletin about events happening and meeting places. But a Northern Ireland lady I met, Joanne and I both felt like it was a museum tour. Haha! Know that the pulpit was a gift to infamous John Stott for his 60th birthday, if I'm not wrong and it weighs 2 tons, having an inscription something along the lines of preaching Jesus, a reminder to all the speakers who go up on the pulpit.

Next, a slide show on the different groups and activities in All Soul's. Finally a decision on which group to join or areas to help around.

"A small church needs help, whereas a big church doesn't need help"
2 statements where the first part is true. For a big church, it takes more hands to prepare and bring out the coffee/tea for example. How could anyone forget to take that into consideration?

Night ended with me surprisingly finding a link with an American girl, whose Taiwanese housemate I met last Sunday at my landlord's church. My landlord is a pastor at St John's Wood Baptist. Took bus home with her and her Kazakhstan housemate.

Leading yourself...

if you were given a title of a talk like "characteristics of a christian leader" to prepare on, what would you choose to say? Which passage to choose? Always find topical talks tough, as you need to fully understand the text within its context for all the passages you choose to include. Alot of work as compared to expounding 1 passage.

First things which came to my mind when I looked at the title of the talk was the fruit of the spirit, following Christ's example, etc. Little did I expect to be told the seriousness of sin (disobedience/rebellion against God) in us. Such an awareness of how sin has tainted our very being! Yes! Even leaders are not excluded as though they were made holy/pure/without sin because they chose to lead bible study groups or other types of groups.

Was totally humbled by Rico Tice's talk on Joshua 7. Through the passage, genuine fear of the Lord was understood. You'll come to understand that God's judgement will be carried out and sin needs to be dealt with. They were asked to stop praying and deal with the problem (Joshua 7:10-13). Quite funny when Rico said they were asked to stop praying, I took a second look at the passage again.

Interesting also from Joshua 7:14 onwards as God's judgement is carried out, question "Why God didn't just point out the guy/culprit?" and Rico explained that it's to give Achan (the guy/culprit) time to confess. Can imagine Achan standing there with his family and starts to wonder if he'll be found out for what he did.

It's a scary thought that God will depart from me because of my sin. I never want him to leave me. Always asked him not to leave me. In Joshua 7:12b God said "I will not be with you anymore...". Sin had to be dealt with - Numbers 32:23 "...be sure that your sin will find you out."

Why was Achan's sin so serious? It's due to the corporate nature of sin. Joshua 7:1 "Israel broke faith"/committed adultery, Joshua 7:11 "Israel has sinned", Joshua 7:24 it was whole of Achan's sin being judged.

Really puts the fear of the Lord in us! God withdrawing until judgement happens. Church discipline is important. Accountability is important. Judgement will come, see Revelation 6. My sin affects others and vice versa (Genesis 3), how could we forget! A statement to ponder about "christian maturity is lived in the presence of God all the time".

What's my besetting sin? Sin has contagious power. Who can ask about my sin? How much fear do you have about sin?

Don't kill sin, sin comes and kills them (1 Samuel 15). Matthew 18:9 "And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell". Have to be ruthless to deal with sin!

Achan's sin - covetousness Joshua 7:20-21. Oh, how we need to examine our fear of sin! Doing gospel work is a soldier's life, not heaven.

"I don't trust anyone here and I don't trust myself!" said Rico in continuation about our sin. This blew me away! Which leader would say that? Except one who solely relies on God, meditating on his word to renew his mind.

AND Rico mentions about our struggle with $/greed which we need to watch out for. Something he understood from Luke 16:13 "No servant can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money."? Hmm....

True christian fellowship = accountability/being challenged, not being nice & feel nice amongst the group. Wow! Something which I've been thinking about and it was put into such succinct words!

Let's all confess our sins. 1 John 1:9 "if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.". We're a community of grace (ie, receiving salvation when we don't deserve it).

This was provided in the talk outline...

Ephesus - "Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place." Revelation 2:5

Pergamum - "Nevertheless, I have a few things against you: You have people there who hold to the teaching of Balaam, who taught Balak to entice the Israelites to sin by eating food sacrificed to idols and by committing sexual immorality. Likewise you also have those who hold to the teaching of the Nicolaitans. Repent therefore! Otherwise, I will soon come to you and will fight against them with the sword of my mouth. " Revelation 2:14-16

Thyatira - "Nevertheless, I have this against you: You tolerate that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess. By her teaching she misleads my servants into sexual immorality and the eating of food sacrificed to idols. I have given her time to repent of her immorality, but she is unwilling. So I will cast her on a bed of suffering, and I will make those who commit adultery with her suffer intensely, unless they repent of her ways." Revelation 2:20-22

If the above is unclear, do let me know. I'm more tuned to "numbers" than words. =P Just documented some of the notes I took down to remind myself of what I've learnt. Best if you could read through Joshua 7 by yourself.

As i left for london...

friends prayed and relatives sent me off. Thanking God for all of them and what was awaiting me in London.