Creator God

whom people say did not create them, but it's their father and mother who created them. Something my colleague said - about parents creating her - as a health topic came up between us, due to a month long pain in my neck and back. Probably also embedded in chinese culture where alot is attributed to parents who gave them life and even after parents pass away, prayers are said infront of parents' urns, and a huge respect goes to ancestor worship because without them we won't be here. But, is it really the case where it is really bad/disrespectful if there is no ancestor worship (not referring to respect for parents)? Is it really disobedient then to not give parents credit for giving us life (not referring to parents bringing us up painstakingly)? What about abortions? Those who didn't actually want to have children, be it for adults or teenagers, but decided on ending life. Are we really true life givers, creators of life? As long as we want to and in our ability, we can create life? Are we really the ones who can fuse cells together to create life? I wonder, I really wonder, so many things to consider in totality. We're not really in control, even if it seems what we do does give us a sense that we are, and indeed God did give us rule over creation. Yet given other situations, we realise we can't and what do we do then? How do we explain it when we can't?

And, what about married couples who can't have children, isn't that evidence that humans can't create life?

If illness takes over, why people don't turn to God who created/made them and rely on Him and not on themselves? Would they consider? if not, why not?

Would people just take a wee bit of their time to hear what God has to say, from his Word, and not assume that we know him? Its abit like hearing from the horse's mouth, if only a chance was given.

Truly, only the Lord opens blind eyes and stubborn hearts like mine.

121 with Dad

enjoying those times with Dad, just him and me having a meal or going to sinseh (chinese physicians) or museums. Even though he talks loudly on his mobile like those coffeeshop ah-pehs ("uncles"), even though he wears his mismatch blue slippers with dark trousers, even though his front teeth has cracked and refuses to get it repaired, even though he uses toothpicks after meals to clear food residue in-between teeth, even though he sometimes behaves like a gangster and sounds like he wants to fight, even though he has aged alot and prone to falls, even though he gets excited about explaining to me technical engineering details which I don't understand, I'm still happy he's my Dad, strangely. Please pray for the Lord to be merciful and gracious to my Dad, to open his eyes that Dad will repent and turn to the Lord. Still think there's a niche ministry amongst those in their 70s, making friends with those who sit in coffeeshops, who talk about anything and everything happening under the sun. Through Dad, I get to know his friends' lives (what they used to work as, their family's makeup, etc) and what they do with their time and talk about. Asking the Lord to provide a christian friend to befriend my Dad.

Excruciating pain

happened when I did some stuff during a week.

the week i did stuff: mon 3 Aug - did wrong crunch/sit-up exercises on hard floor, tue 4 Aug - slept with head on my arm, fri 7 Aug - moved, carried 20/8kg of books.

sat 8 Aug - woke up with excruciating pain from head to neck to back, and radiating pain in arms to tips of fingers, couldn't get out of bed. (trivia: did you know we use our neck muscles when we get out of bed? each morning, not only thanking the Lord for sunshine, a new day, also for neck muscles)

sun 9 Aug (singapore's national day) - 2 friends/couple, sports doc & physiotherapist, came to give me pain killer/anti-inflammatory pills and a neck brace to wear for 3-4 days. assessed root problem, taught me how to get out of bed, bought din for me, etc. thought of going to A&E, but doc said hospitals were on stand-by for mishaps at national day celebrations, so i'll have to wait a long time at A&E which i knew what the wait was like since i brought parents there on separate occasions. conclusion was that i'd strained spinal cord. worse case if pain doesn't go away, paralysis. i thought maybe this is all part of growing old, but doc says even sports people get it as well. haha, is it a relief to hear that? hmm...

mon 10 Aug - still had excruciating pain, went to neighbourhood doc to get medical leave, had 3 days of medical leave (tue - thu). changed pillow to have more neck support.

heard another friend, SW, had lower back problem and admitted himself to A&E, getting an injection of pain killer / anti-inflammatory and was discharged, going back to work the next day!!

fri 14 Aug - worked from home because it takes too much to get to office.

sat 15 Aug - still no relief from aching pain, went to physiotherapist clinic. had treatment and was taught exercises to move vertebrae which was stiff. met SW, who went to A&E for injection on mon, also getting physio treatment for lower back.

mon 17 Aug - didn't have excruciating pain when i woke up, but aching pain still there. continue to work from home, doing 4 types of physio exercises every 15mins.

wed 26 Aug - changed desk chair to have correct sitting position. stationary chair instead of the rolling one.

fri 28 Aug - been doing physio exercises everyday, and perspire from doing it. wake up in morning and pain still there. went to sinseh (chinese physician) during lunchtime and fainted. apparently, i was suppose to have eaten and after 1 hour, then see sinseh. my head was put in a neck brace to extend neck and needles inserted in upper back and neck. my hand was placed on a bell in case of anything. electricity was sent through needles and i would feel warm. think i blacked out in 5 mins because next thing i knew, i woke up and couldn't find bell next to my hand (might have fallen on the floor) and was leaning against doc, feeling weak and he was desperately trying to get my head out of neck brace, carrying me onto bed. then nurse gave me water and tissues because i was perspiring. lied down for 20mins and left clinic with medicine. i really don't like needles, although i bring my parents for accupuncture and have seen how its done. think i needed relief and wasn't getting any even though i did physio exercises. feeling tired as i haven't slept through the night (for almost 3 weeks) without waking up with aching pain and have to keep changing sleeping position.

i'm suppose to go back to sinseh next week after taking 3 days of chinese medication which tastes horrible. i should give the sinseh another chance to see if it works or change sinseh? hmm...

sat 29 Aug - went to get meds from neighbourhood doc and also ask if i need to get x-ray done. assessment concluded that i didn't have numbness in arms and hands, so don't need to. more meds to keep inflammation down and pain killers for relief.

visited godson cos he had surgery and was resting at home. his dad, a physio, treated my back and cracked it. strangely, there was less strain when i turn head left & right thereafter. apparently, if i exercise more, my strained muscles will stiffen up, no wonder! so, no lifting of heavy stuff and no exercise, need to lie flat on my back more often for relief. i can't sit for long in one position, as pain will take place. want to get stuff done, but so much involves the neck and back. sigh.

apparently, i'll need 8-10 sessions of physio to get better. turning head around still feels painful.

thankfully the Lord knows my body cos he made it and pain is truly a sign that something's not right, so many things to get done but limited and need to get relief/rest. wish there was a computer i could work on or get stuff done or talking to people while lying on my back.