One thing I want in this life

is for my Dad to be saved by Jesus (at this moment in time). Jesus, who ascended into heaven and descended from heaven, the only one whom my Dad needs to listen to about heaven, the only one my Dad needs to believe in, the only one who can reconcile my Dad to God whom he ignores and push away or pretend He's not there.

Oh! What I would give to see my Dad believing in Jesus before he dies.

Heart is in pain. Heart grieves. It's too painful.

It's so urgent!

Not sure how to face the day, if there will be a day and I'm hoping there won't be, but yet seeing my Dad's stubbornness, I might have to face the day where my Dad passes away without believing in Jesus. It's too painful. Really too painful. Can there not be any pain?

I can't change hearts. Can only trust in God who changes hearts. With man, saving ourselves is impossible, but with God, being saved by him is not impossible. It is possible with God who sent Jesus to die for our sins and reconcile us back to himself. It's never to perish, but to have eternal life. Never to die, never to cry, never to be in pain, never, never...

I love my Dad. God knows I love my Dad. God loves my Dad. God is really really patient with my Dad. I love my Dad. I don't want my Dad to just perish. To just think, once he dies, he'll just be ashes. I want my Dad to live. I want my Dad to have eternal life, a reconciled relationship with God (his Creator) through Jesus Christ.

John 3:9-15
⁹Nicodemus said to him, "How can these things be?" ¹⁰Jesus answered him, "Are you the teacher of Israel and yet you do not understand these things? ¹¹Truly, truly, I say to you, we speak of what we know, and bear witness to what we have seen, but you do not receive our testimony. ¹²If I have told you earthly things and you do not believe, how can you believe if I tell you heavenly things? ¹³ No one has ascended into heaven except he who descended from heaven, the Son of Man. ¹⁴And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must the Son of Man be lifted up, ¹⁵that whoever believes in him may have eternal life.

New heart & new spirit

is what God says in Ezekiel 36:25-27.

Thank you Jesus for cleansing me
giving me a new heart
and putting a new spirit within me
Thank you for removing the heart of stone from my flesh
and giving me a heart of flesh
Thank you for putting your Spirit within me
causing me to walk in your statutes
and be careful to obey your rules

You are my God! You took the initiative, you know I can't ever do it by myself, my self-reliance is completely useless, I'm totally wretched. Thank you.